When you begin to view fear as your enemy, you begin to be at war with yourself.

The anxiety and fear associated with public speaking and performing can be truly challenging, and there's no single right way to approach it. What helps one person is often very different from what helps another. That said, there are basic ways to make sense of the anxiety and fear that can be a useful starting place for many people. Here’s one of these ways of making sense—something you can think of as a loop of anxiety—and I hope it will be helpful.

At the outset, it’s important to recognize that anxiety and fear are involuntary reactions to a perceived threat. In some cases, these reactions are helpful because they protect you in times of real danger. In other cases, however, these reactions emerge when there is no obvious external threat or the nature of the threat is vague (like when speaking publicly to a group, or when performing).

Experiencing a familiar but somehow vague threat while speaking or performing can be uncomfortable, but with a lot of experience or good training, these involuntary reactions can become manageable (even helpful).

That said, there’s another kind of difficulty associated with fear of speaking or performing that can seem truly baffling: the difficulty that arises when you begin to perceive your involuntary stress reactions themselves as a threat.

When your involuntary stress reactions themselves become a threat, a loop forms. Here’s an example of how this can play out:

I have to speak soon, and my mouth is drying up… Oh no, my mouth is dry! Not again. I'm nervous. I wish this wouldn't... It's not going away... Oh, it's getting worse. My heart is speeding up. Why is this happening again...? It's getting... I’m too nervous… My chest is tightening, legs shaking, throat constricting, vision narrowing, mind blanking…

(If reading that was fine, great! Skip to the next paragraph. If reading that was stressful, and you want help with the stress, take a moment now to read this paragraph. Once you’ve read this paragraph, go through it again, taking your time to explore these two steps: 1) Look at your surroundings. Notice what your eyes like to see around you. Really take the time to clock that before you go on... 2) Again look around your environment. If you’re not being threatened by anyone or anything, it’s likely you’re safe in this moment. Let yourself really register that…)

The loop works something like this: at some point in the past, you developed a negative view of your stress response (faster heartbeat, sweaty palms, shaky legs, tight chest, shaky voice, etc.). Now, when you’re in a situation in which you feel anxious or afraid, you notice your stress response, and you perceive this response as a threat—which in turn causes your fear to grow. Your escalating fear then increases your stress response. Which then generates greater fear. And so on and so on, in a self-perpetuating loop.

Essentially what’s happened is this: you've developed an adversarial relationship with your own involuntary experience. And when you begin to view fear as your enemy, it’s as if you are beginning to go to war with yourself.

In some cases, this works itself out naturally. In some cases, seeking out a gifted mental health professional or trauma specialist is most helpful. In some cases, it’s really helpful to work with a public speaking or acting coach who specializes in stage fright and fear of public speaking. The choice of what path to take depends in part on why you’re wanting help.

The process with which you address your public speaking fear or performance anxiety may include general approaches to working with stress and anxiety as well as approaches specifically tailored to your circumstances. The good news is that once you really understand what's happening, and you have clear ways of addressing it, what once felt terrible and terribly confusing can begin to feel SO MUCH BETTER.

If this loop seems familiar to you, here are some areas you might want to explore:

• Your body and breathing: these house your primary involuntary threat responses, and the relationship you have to your body and breathing (especially when under stress) can dramatically affect your sense of confidence, presence, and freedom.

• Your relationship to groups and to your environment: you may have habits of perception that make being present and communicating in groups much more difficult than it needs to be.

• Your content, and your connection to your content: when your material is clear, and you have a strong and helpful connection with it, speaking and performing can become much, much easier.

• Your goals for speaking or performing: you may have conscious or unconscious goals that unintentionally increase your stress, and you may be able to discover new goals that not only reduce your stress but also help you focus much more clearly on what matters.

• Your emotions and mindset: how you make sense of your emotions and thoughts can deeply affect how you feel.

• Your preparation habits: the way you prepare for speaking or performing can unintentionally make it much harder, and so much less effective, than it needs to be.

• Your relevant history: sometimes your history holds important clues about your fear of public speaking—or your fear of performing—as well as what could help you.

So many people come to me looking to overcome stage fright, and that totally makes sense. But the goal to overcome stage fright can actually reinforce stage fright— because that goal is rooted in a sense that stage fright itself is a threat. Overcoming stage fright is fundamentally different from making friends with stage fright and learning to work with it in helpful ways.

If fear of public speaking or fear of performing is preventing you from offering your best to the world, if stage fright trips you up, and what you’ve tried on your own hasn’t worked, consider finding help. Since coaches and therapists each work so differently, and because the work needs to be nuanced and tailored to you, it’s worth taking the time to find someone who is a really good fit for you.

Some people prefer therapy, and this makes sense. Some people prefer to use voice, public speaking, acting, or breathing coaches for help with speaking anxiety, performance anxiety, and stage fright, and this also makes sense. The word anxious comes from the Latin word angere, which means to choke. Your breath, your voice, your ability to speak are all are intertwined — and all can be profoundly affected by anxiety and fear. However you choose to work on it, eventually you might just view the onset of your nerves as a sign, a truly positive sign, that you’re about to do something thrilling.

A number of traditions inform my work with clients who experience a challenging stress response, including Somatic Experiencing®, Steven Hoskinson's Organic Intelligence® work, Fitzmaurice Voicework®, Castellino Foundation Training, various meditation and body-oriented practices, and practices linked to the performing arts. See My Influences page for more details. If you need referrals to good therapists, please also feel free to contact me.

This article is one of a few I’ve written that address fear of public speaking. For others, visit my Writings page.

What I offer:

• Private Coaching
  Private lessons in my Los Angeles studio (or your location) provide the opportunity to focus on your specific needs.
  

• Public Speaking Workshops
  Public Speaking Workshops offer a safe and supportive opportunity to explore learning in a setting that may typically be very challenging--in order to discover new, more satisfying possibilities.
  

• Voice Workshops
  Voice Workshops (offered locally, nationally, and internationally) offer an immersion in a short period of time.